You and I used to laugh together

“You and i used to laugh together”

you and i used to laugh together
and i guessed we cried some too
but now it seems i can’t find you, no matter where i look

i must’ve done you wrong, though i don’t know how
i don’t know when i lost you, don’t know how or why
but when i turned a corner, you were no longer with me

i loved to feel your skin, loved to feel your touch
i loved to watch you naked, knowing you were mine

now i’m feeling cold
don’t know what to do without you
now i’m feeling much too old
i guess i’ll keep turning corners, hoping the next one is yours



Applications programming is a race between software engineers, who strive to produce idiot-proof programs, and the Universe which strives to produce bigger idiots.
(Software Engineers’ saying)

So far the Universe is winning.
(Applications Programmers’ saying)

Broken thumb

New Aikido equipment, Club of Thumb!

Ouch! I guess even the most “peaceful” of martial arts (that’d be Aikido in many people’s eyes) has its downsides; specially if you’re a clumsy Uke and don’t pay attention to what you’re doing when showing your son how agile his dad is.

Poor Agneta at our Dojo thought she had something to do with it.. well, at least this will teach me to never have my thumb across when holding for a throw/fall. Surgery, bandage/cast, and what’s worse, no Aikido practice for many weeks to come!


i run
away from
pitch black
into the sunlight
i feel salt
from the sweat
when I scream
i laugh
and i can see

you see
when i can no longer
i push
when you cannot pull
then we embrace
and rest
i wonder why
my energy must clash
with the phantom
i try to leave behind

into the green
you are caught
and cannot escape
it is too late
you see
i know, somehow i know
because i set you up
for the fall
for no reason
but to have it all

when we embrace
i realize
the mistake is mine alone
and i cannot make you see
that we have no spark
no twang
it just means
we were not meant
nothing more
but much much less

you climb
i fall
when you rest
my burden is too great
i am broken
you will not return
i will not follow
thus we have parted
on our way to the top

the stain is dry
it was not a moment ago
when my heart was beating
why did you let go
now i must cover, run, and hide
pretend you were never by my side
and you, are a liar

why are you hiding
what are you hiding
are you afraid i will not like you
in the nude
feel my flesh
eat my soul
consume me, goddamnit!

stab me and i swallow
fight me and i run
cross my line and you will hurt
for as long as my life goes on

in pain i find comfort
i take no notice of the blood
dripping down
i know i am alive
for a moment longer
you see, i feel

when they point at me
my eyes see mountains
conquer them, beat them
you cannot run away
from them nor the mountains

babblemouth and wicked tales
stories of horror
true lies and dance
we must love
hate is old
and makes you cold

walk a mile in my shoes
then give me some water
for your feet must hurt
and now you know
when the pain lingers on
there is no fear
only certainty of a purpose
without return