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Secret Language

The thin veil of fog slowly rise and
reveals a clear blue autumn sky in the
mirror that lies beneath

The colors of autumn surround me and
the air is clear and fresh

I pass a couple sitting on a bench,
they have a cup of coffee in their
hands; nothing they say can be heard
or understood by me

Their language is as secret as it is
obvious

I look to the sky and let out a long sigh
I turn my eyes to the mirror blank water
and smile

I also know a secret

 

“Secret Language”, joho 2012-10-12

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Hemligt Språk

Dimman lättar från vattnet och avslöjar
en klarblå hösthimmel i den spegelblanka
ytan

Höstens färger omringar mig och luften
är frisk och klar

Jag passerar ett par på en bänk, de har
varsin kopp kaffe i handen men säger
ingenting som jag kan höra eller förstå

Deras språk är lika hemligt som det är
uppenbart

Jag vänder blicken mot himlen och suckar
Jag ser ut över vattnet och ler
Jag vet också en hemlighet

 

“Hemligt Språk”, joho 2012-10-12

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Leaving the Shadows

As I leave the shadows
I am stunned by the force
of the light

It is not the shadows, in
which I have walked, that
have forced me to leave

It is the light that cuts
through the depths of
darkness and draws me into
the warmth

I am grateful, for this is
a new beginning, a second
chance of sorts

And as any gambler would
proclaim, it is unwise to
push your luck beyond what
is reasonable for a man to
experience more than once
in a lifetime

But I will likewise claim
that I have not experienced
this in my lifetime

You have my heart and soul
in your hands, rest assured

What you do with them is
entirely up to you

I’m naked in the light

 

“Leaving the Shadows”, joho 2011-09-18

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You cannot take it away

As the wick of the candle, I will burn for as long as
there is something to burn

Stray winds will not disturb my fire or determination

You cannot take it away

I will burn for as long as there is something to burn

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Tears in my heart

Are you freightened by the tears in my heart?

Do not be afraid, for they are tears of joy.
It is all your fault you know, you put them
there. I am not entirely sure I will let you
take them back. As a matter of fact, I think
I will keep them. So know this, my heart is
crying, and it is all your fault.

Do not ask me how you did that. Because I do
not know. Do you know? If you know how that
happened, please tell me, because I really
want to know.

They say it takes but a smile, and I did not
believe them. They say it takes but a moment,
and I did not believe them. They say you can
move mountains with just one breath, and I
did not believe them.

I have never been more happy to be wrong.

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Recycle. Endure. Energy. Pain. Smile. Tear. Flow.

When I ponder the landscape that was once my heart,
and realize the valleys and the mountains are still
there

I see things that I sometimes forget, there are colors,
not just shades of grey, but sparkling colors; red,
blue, turqoise, emerald, and even yellow. There’s black
and white, but those are shades that hide the other

The river always flows in the same direction, only the
speed and rage of it varies; but sometimes, it stops
for a minute to allow for pondering

I cannot cease to feel, I cannot cease to imagine, for
when I cease, all will end for me. For you, it will
go on as if a leaf had fallen to the ground. It will be
washed away come spring

Recycle. Endure. Energy. Pain. Smile. Tear. Flow.

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In my shadows

I cannot tell you what awaits in the
shadows of my mind, because you would
not understand.

Few people have been in my shadows.

But you have reached so far into my
soul that I am certain that you will
see what lies beyond.

I’m not asking you to comprehend what
you see, nor am I asking you to listen
to me when I describe what you see.

You have to feel it, because if you’re
not feeling it, then you’re not seeing
it.

I am grateful, without shame or debt.

My pain is without end, but it is not
all dark because my happiness is also
without end. Some people call it
bipolar, I call it life; because I do
not know another life.

But then again, those people have never
lived my life.

I cannot say it in a less complicated way:

I love you.
I love you.
I love you.

“In my shadows”, joho 2009-11-08

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Now

Now

It is so hard to think
of you over there,
when I am over here
but it is all I can do
to keep my sanity

I miss you more than
I can express with
words, for they are
but words

Thinking of words said,
things done
in my head
in my heart
in the past

If the past is all I
have
I need to make now
the past
but not vice versa
because I do not
wish to live there
in a place that has
been but never is

If I did not miss you
and if I did not think
of you
and if I did not feel
it as I feel it
then I would not be
writing this
nor be feeling what I
feel

But I do, so I will

JoHo, 2009-09-28

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I am me

My feet need to feel the earth, my nose needs to smell the air, my eyes need to see the trees, and my ears need to hear the water. I am all those things, and I need all those things. I am complex and simple, I am weak and I am powerful. I am me.

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