I am truly disgusting, how about you?

HEEEEEEELP!

I need a bigger OFF-button on my TV-set, on the local magazine store, and everybody who buys into these arguments. No seriously, I’ll probably be OK and have forgotten about it in a few hours :-) I was caught in a “advertisement against natural stuff related to your body”-circus while zapping channels on the TV, and things just got to me.

If the manufacturers of all sorts of useful products had their way, your day might look something like this:

  1. Get up
  2. Go to the toilet, do your thing, spray air freshener
  3. Go have breakfast
  4. Go brush your teeth, make sure you choose toothpaste with Triclosan in it, it does wonders for the wildlife when it hits the water treatment plants
  5. Here you have a choice: go to the toilet, do your thing and the air freshener, or have some of that dental chewing gum (with Xylitol of course) that makes your breath fresher and your teeth whiter
  6. Throughout the day, whenever you feel like you’re not smelling like a walking advertisement, find the nearest toilet and drown yourself in perfume, stuff your mouth full of Xylitol chewing gums.. oh, and don’t forget the air freshener
  7. Have dinner, and don’t forget that chewing gum; your teeth may rot if they don’t get to feel that all-natural gum between them
  8. Go to bed; for those of you who engage in sexual activities, be sure to clean yourself properly afterwards, and don’t forget that after-sex-dental-gum; I mean we don’t want bacteria running around, do you know what that stuff does to you?

Kan-Do? Perfumed DESIGNER toilet paper for kids? Come on, give me a break!
Oh.. oh.. I know.. strawberry breathmints for your parrot? Niiice!

No, I’m not saying I enjoy B-O or greasy hair and what not, on the contrary; but there’s has to be some sort of moderation on all of this. Where will it end?! The day someone starts marketing canned common sense, and actually making money out of it, I’m logging off for good; until then, I shall remain the pigheaded optimist :-)

If mankind spent a billionth of the resources it spends on looking and smelling good, on improving on our social skills, being nice to others, and helping each other; this world would be a much nicer place to live. But hey, don’t take my word for it, engage that grey mass you have sitting between your shoulders.

Good night.

Share:
  • Print
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • Twitter
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Google Buzz
  • Technorati
  • LinkedIn
  • Live

One Response to I am truly disgusting, how about you?

  1. Jo 16-Feb-2005 at 09:35 #

    Whats more disgusting, the asian boy on the toilet in the Airwick commercial doesn´t even wipes his bum when he is ready.oh no, he just runs away! Hmm fresh air or poo-bum ..your choice! Yum!

Leave a Reply

* Copy This Password *

* Type Or Paste Password Here *

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.

Powered by WordPress. Designed by Woo Themes